The Question: Is Edward Scissor Hands a man or a robot?
Edward Scissorhands was a man who was never born, but rather created by a mad scientist (much like Frankenstein)... I would classify him as a cyborg...I never gave the topic much thought before this post... however now that I think about it... I do wonder how his brain controls the scissors like fingers... NONE OF THIS IS ADDING UP AT ALL... There was more going on with Edward than the movie led us to believe... I think the most probable answer is that the mad scientist was a grave robber... He snuck into a cemetary, stole Johnny Depp's corpse, sodomized it over and over, watched Star Wars, did the whole "Here Skywalker... have a robot hand" thing so the Depp could do his yardwork, brought him to life, told him he's the reason his mother left (when he found out he got this look on his face that just stuck), and then died before he could complete landscaping zoo (so close, one more penguin bush and they were home free)... So ya... Edward Scissorhands is a cyborg...
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
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He's neither. He is in fact an abomination of God. Duh i mean really. Regardless Winona is hot. I wonder if she fucks him like in the directors cut (haha didn't even mean to type that). Like how does that work? Whats his dick look like, pinking shears? Anyway it just goes to prove that no matter how weird Johnny Depp looks women would still fuck him over Gary from Weird Science. Wait I got something for you to blog about who's hotter Lisa from Weird Science the movie or Lisa from the TV show?
ReplyDeleteFirstly... Rofl...
ReplyDeleteSecondly... I am pretty sure that he does not have blades for a penis only on the logic that if he did, the WHOLE movie would have been based around that... This world has been waiting for the hero/villain with gardening sheers for a penis to save/kill every woman that crossed his path... Not to mention if he had gardening sheers for a penis, the mad scientist who made him probably wouldn't have even bothered putting them on his hands... He would have taken one good look at Depp in all his glory and KNEW he was a finished project...
Wouldn't having scissors for a dick be the most logical? I mean if i were a scientist and made a guy with scissors for hands I'd be like hey what happens if he has to take a piss? If he has another pair of scissors down there its like... you know no big deal if they touch. Maybe its some sort of scissor sharpener like those kutco knife sharpener's the oxyclean guy is always shoving down my throat at 4 am. Wait im getting off topic here how the hell does he wipe his ass? like wtf? If you can explain that ill admit defeat in this debate.
ReplyDeleteWell it is possible he was designed to recycle his own waste for energy or that he doesn't have to eat at all, therefore not needing to pee or poop...
ReplyDeleteHowever, let's just say he DOES need to eat and dispose of his waste... He is Johnny Depp... He has people who pay good money to hold it for him, and people who pay slightly less money to wipe his ass (no matter what role he is playing)... Plus if he is anything like me, he doesn't hold it at all.. He just picks a wall and writes his name... Don't chain us down with manners...
awesome
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