The Question: Is karma a real thing, and if so how do you alter your own personal karma?
No one can know for sure what can't be known for sure... I however do not believe in Karma in a religious sense.... I definitely believe in the principles of cause and effect, however because I don't have any evidence, nor gut feelings that I have lived previous lives, I do not believe that my actions in them would impact the probability of better or worse things happening to me in this one... Again, no one can know anything for sure... I just like to play the odds...
Here is my problem with Karma... It is a principle of balance that has faults in the equation... For example... Let's just say there is a new born baby laying down in its crib... the parents are asleep in the room next door... and a snake makes its way into the baby's room, and up into the crib (and yes sadly shit like this happens)... The baby has done everything in its power to survive... breathing, crying for help, flailing its little arms... yet it's to no avail... So what do you end up with... A happy snake, 2 anguished parents, and a dead baby... Now you could say one or both of those parents had it coming for something they did in this life or a past one; or the snake did an exemplary job of infiltrating the house and deserved his prize... (thus the parents will have some good karma coming to them in this life or a future one)... but what of the karma of the baby... He wasn't alive long enough to deserve this brutal fate, nor does he have the ability to formulate memories to which this deed could compensate for bad karma from a previous life... So where would justice and fairness come into play here? Was that baby born only to punish the parents? Is human life that meaningless? No, it's nothing personal... Just a random series of events that are dictated by cause and effect... not of a supernatural world, but of a real physical world that is driven by reactionary responses of the total environment and parts beyond... The web of cause and effect is so vast and limitless that it appear to be supernatural... but its not... (in my opinion)
Nature is brutal, unfair, and has been around playing judge and jury waaayyyy before the dawn of mankind... Are we to believe that cosmically karma came to exist because humans came to exist? Is a species who was improbably granted self awareness on a boon dock backwater planet that will fade out of existence as soon as our sun explodes worthy of special cosmic rules and loopholes? Are we to believe that karma existed as soon as conscious choice came to exist...? Or is karma just a good way of keeping people in check and stopping them from being even bigger assholes than they already have a tendency to be? (because whether we want to admit it or not... we are still beasts... we are just told that we are not supposed to enjoy it) I don't believe in the concept of being a good person for the concept of reward... (I actually don't believe in the concept of "good" or "bad" people at all but that explanation is gonna have to be for a different blog) Either way, if you are going to do a good deed, do it to make the world a better place for everyone, not just for yourself...
So how do you adjust your own personal karma? Don't be an asshole... Do good deeds for the sake of doing good deeds, and learn to be at peace with yourself regardless of the outcome... When people kick you in the nuts... get up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward... Take whatever steps you have to take to not be jaded and horrible like the majority of people... It won't guarantee anything, but on the principle of cause and effect, it definitely won't hurt your chances...
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Should I Want to Fight Voltaire?
The Question: You would fight Voltaire? Really? What the hell did he do to you?
Ok ok slow down... I'm not a frog and you're not a bunny so let's not jump ahead... I actually think my defiant views are parallel with his... He believed the government and church to be corrupt(any arguments here?), the commoners (like me) to be fools for the most part, he distrusted the concept of democracy because the people were not smart enough to decide how things should be ran(go figure), he disagreed with censorship, exc. (smart dude)...
However, I want to challenge him to a Thunder Dome brawl to see if he has the courage to stand by his convictions in a life or death situation...I wanna see what he's made of... Maybe he overheard his ideologies in an open air market, jotted them down in his writings, did some foofy French public relations, and got his ass inadvertantly glorified and put in the history books... Maybe he was a coward? Maybe he was a badass? Dunno... I just think anyone who stands for the things he advocated should be able to take a right cross or two... Ask Lincoln or Jefferson... If he folds on his views after a clean shot to the gut than I feel things like that are worth mentioning in the history books too... Or maybe he is all he's cracked up to be... I will never truly know unless I fight him... to the death... I just can't help but be suspicious of him...
To answer your question though...he didn't do anything to me...
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
Ok ok slow down... I'm not a frog and you're not a bunny so let's not jump ahead... I actually think my defiant views are parallel with his... He believed the government and church to be corrupt(any arguments here?), the commoners (like me) to be fools for the most part, he distrusted the concept of democracy because the people were not smart enough to decide how things should be ran(go figure), he disagreed with censorship, exc. (smart dude)...
However, I want to challenge him to a Thunder Dome brawl to see if he has the courage to stand by his convictions in a life or death situation...I wanna see what he's made of... Maybe he overheard his ideologies in an open air market, jotted them down in his writings, did some foofy French public relations, and got his ass inadvertantly glorified and put in the history books... Maybe he was a coward? Maybe he was a badass? Dunno... I just think anyone who stands for the things he advocated should be able to take a right cross or two... Ask Lincoln or Jefferson... If he folds on his views after a clean shot to the gut than I feel things like that are worth mentioning in the history books too... Or maybe he is all he's cracked up to be... I will never truly know unless I fight him... to the death... I just can't help but be suspicious of him...
To answer your question though...he didn't do anything to me...
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
Should I Want to Fight Princess Zelda?
The Question: Why don't you want to fight Zelda? Shes a bitch...
Well, just because there are a wide variety of people I would love to scrap with doesn't mean I want to scrap with everyone... I have good reasons for each person I added to my Thunder Dome list... Reasons could include a lack of respect, a sense of disgust, good sport, or an honorable death... For none of these reasons however, would I add Princess Zelda to my chopping block... She never really rubbed me the wrong way...
Was she a bitch... ? Yes... but dude, most royalty are difficult to deal with when you are hoi polloi... I'm sure her nose was stuck in the air higher than a Frenchman in a room full of offensive odors... It is par for the course... You can't hold that against her... For a lady of her status she actually seemed quite pleasant... ANDDDD she MUST have been rewarding... Link wouldn't have went soooooo far out of the way for her all the time if she wasn't hookin his ass up big time... Maybe he would save her once, but definitely not over the course of six gaming platforms and a cartoon series... If there was nothing in it for him he woulda been smoking under the bridge with the guy that gives you the bottle...Maybe she really loved Link, or maybe he was a convenience that she was taking for a ride... Either way, she paid what she owed... Hate the system, or better yet, hate the King... but don't hate Zelda... Actually I wasn't going to address this issue but you forced me to... What the FUCK is wrong with her father!!!
The King, all high and mighty, is lazy worthless piece of shit... I came to my senses and added him to my Thunder Dome list right away...His daughter got kidnapped how many times, and he NEVER did a Gawd Damn thing... And don't give me that "but what about all that shit you just said about royalty and durt durt durt n durt...?" This is different... Sean Connery has been king more times than I can count, and he ALWAYS goes after missing persons... Try and stop him... he is a machine... What did Zelda's father do... Let ONE DUDE explore the WHOLE world for her while he keeps all his guards barricaded within his keep so he knows he himself will be safe... Not to mention he never seems to remember Link by the next time she gets kidnapped... Talk about a father that doesn't give a shit about his kid... I'm not surprised Zelda gives it up at 13 years old...
Neglectful apathetic fathers like that drive their daughters who become starving for attention at an early age to be prostitutes and porn stars (not strippers though... that's a completely different story)... If it wasn't for a nation of bad fathers, our porno industry would be quite stunted... You have all these dickheads who are just too concerned with their own ass-backwards life to stop and teach their kids anything... They don't know what their kids are doing and they don't give a shit... Hey, let's just let MTV raise them... Zelda is putting out at 13, getting kidnapped left and right because she was never taught to look both ways, and all the damn King is doing is examining his tax roll... That guy needs a good ass kicking...Zelda is just lucky shes rich and found a good guy or else you might be seeing her in your next edition of "Feeding Frenzy." You can't blame her though... She is a product of her environment... If you want me to fight someone... have me fight the guy responsible...
Well, just because there are a wide variety of people I would love to scrap with doesn't mean I want to scrap with everyone... I have good reasons for each person I added to my Thunder Dome list... Reasons could include a lack of respect, a sense of disgust, good sport, or an honorable death... For none of these reasons however, would I add Princess Zelda to my chopping block... She never really rubbed me the wrong way...
Was she a bitch... ? Yes... but dude, most royalty are difficult to deal with when you are hoi polloi... I'm sure her nose was stuck in the air higher than a Frenchman in a room full of offensive odors... It is par for the course... You can't hold that against her... For a lady of her status she actually seemed quite pleasant... ANDDDD she MUST have been rewarding... Link wouldn't have went soooooo far out of the way for her all the time if she wasn't hookin his ass up big time... Maybe he would save her once, but definitely not over the course of six gaming platforms and a cartoon series... If there was nothing in it for him he woulda been smoking under the bridge with the guy that gives you the bottle...Maybe she really loved Link, or maybe he was a convenience that she was taking for a ride... Either way, she paid what she owed... Hate the system, or better yet, hate the King... but don't hate Zelda... Actually I wasn't going to address this issue but you forced me to... What the FUCK is wrong with her father!!!
The King, all high and mighty, is lazy worthless piece of shit... I came to my senses and added him to my Thunder Dome list right away...His daughter got kidnapped how many times, and he NEVER did a Gawd Damn thing... And don't give me that "but what about all that shit you just said about royalty and durt durt durt n durt...?" This is different... Sean Connery has been king more times than I can count, and he ALWAYS goes after missing persons... Try and stop him... he is a machine... What did Zelda's father do... Let ONE DUDE explore the WHOLE world for her while he keeps all his guards barricaded within his keep so he knows he himself will be safe... Not to mention he never seems to remember Link by the next time she gets kidnapped... Talk about a father that doesn't give a shit about his kid... I'm not surprised Zelda gives it up at 13 years old...
Neglectful apathetic fathers like that drive their daughters who become starving for attention at an early age to be prostitutes and porn stars (not strippers though... that's a completely different story)... If it wasn't for a nation of bad fathers, our porno industry would be quite stunted... You have all these dickheads who are just too concerned with their own ass-backwards life to stop and teach their kids anything... They don't know what their kids are doing and they don't give a shit... Hey, let's just let MTV raise them... Zelda is putting out at 13, getting kidnapped left and right because she was never taught to look both ways, and all the damn King is doing is examining his tax roll... That guy needs a good ass kicking...Zelda is just lucky shes rich and found a good guy or else you might be seeing her in your next edition of "Feeding Frenzy." You can't blame her though... She is a product of her environment... If you want me to fight someone... have me fight the guy responsible...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Who Would I Fight in Thunderdome?
The Question: Who would you fight in the post nuke arena of Thunder- Dome?
Right now half of my buddies are reading the title of this Blog and just thinking to themselves..."Oh no..." A question like that can prompt a Blog of record breaking page length proportions... I mean off the top of my head I would want to fight:
Rossie O'donnell, Bernie Kerik, Bernie Madoff, Bernie Lomax, Spike Lee, Sir Edward Appleton, Napoleon Bonaparte, Robert P. Marble, any of the Hanson brothers, any of the Lawrence brothers, Courtny Love, President Pierce, Tom Brady, Carlos Mencia, Billy Corgan, Prince Albert, the casting directors of the marvel movies (Nobody with a soul would have casted Ben Affleck as Daredevil), Glen Close, Kemal Ataturk, Kristy Alley, Fred Savage, Condoleezza Rice, Harold Macmillan, Parris Hilton, Parris Hilton's parents, the guy who invented American Idol, Bad Boy John Mcenroe (It's awesome when he flies off the handle), and Judge Ito...
And...
Usher, Pope Benedict, Kevin Federline, Annie Besant, Elron Hubbard, L.F, I.F, M.F, the guy who took Threes Company off the air, Tipper Gore, the guy who invented ring tones, the French, Bill O'riley, Steven Tyler, Cleopatra, Freud, Adolf Hitler, Adam Sandler, John Edwards, Mathew Broderick, Gary Coleman, Ralph Machio, Dave Justice, Zach Morris, the guy that took the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles off the air, Michael Jackson (just to see him shatter into 100 plastic pieces), Tom Cruise, Phil Collins, Tiger Woods (All that skill and he's too cool to sign autographs... Suck my balls), Robert Paulson, Charlemagne, Inspector Gadget, anyone who has modeled for Abercrombie, any crooked cop, Woopie Goldberg, Marco Polo, and Abigail Adams...
And...
OJ Simpson, Dennis Rodman, Ben Affleck (for auditioning to be Daredevil), the chick who had 8 babies, James Carville, Dirty Bird, Joseph Smith, Edmund Burke, Chris Tucker, Rick Astley, Madonna, Gavin Rossdale, an Emo kid, Captain Planet, Corey Feldman, Henry Rollins (That's as stylish as suicide gets), Molly Ringwald, any of the Great Pharaohs, Nostradamus, Josephene Butler, Caligula, Benjamin Disraeli, FDR, that guy that called me a fizzle and ran, John Stamos, Lady Godiva, Arthur Harris, John Steinbeck, Donald Rumsfeld, Nero, and Christopher Columbus...
And
George W. Bush, Alfonso Ribeiro, anyone who is standing 15 yards away from me pretending to cough because I have a cigarette in my hand, Sir Robert Peel, the character Mr. Orange from Resivoir Dogs, President Carter, Axel Rose, Sam Walton, Siegfried, Roy, John Smith, Tiberius, François-Marie Arouet (Voltaire), Don King, Mario from Super Mario Brothers, F. Scott Fitzgerald, M. Night Shyamalan, the King from the Zelda Universe, and Falson...
I can go on and on but I'm going to stop before I get warmed up... If you need me to elaborate on any of the mentioned parties I would be happy to...
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
Right now half of my buddies are reading the title of this Blog and just thinking to themselves..."Oh no..." A question like that can prompt a Blog of record breaking page length proportions... I mean off the top of my head I would want to fight:
Rossie O'donnell, Bernie Kerik, Bernie Madoff, Bernie Lomax, Spike Lee, Sir Edward Appleton, Napoleon Bonaparte, Robert P. Marble, any of the Hanson brothers, any of the Lawrence brothers, Courtny Love, President Pierce, Tom Brady, Carlos Mencia, Billy Corgan, Prince Albert, the casting directors of the marvel movies (Nobody with a soul would have casted Ben Affleck as Daredevil), Glen Close, Kemal Ataturk, Kristy Alley, Fred Savage, Condoleezza Rice, Harold Macmillan, Parris Hilton, Parris Hilton's parents, the guy who invented American Idol, Bad Boy John Mcenroe (It's awesome when he flies off the handle), and Judge Ito...
And...
Usher, Pope Benedict, Kevin Federline, Annie Besant, Elron Hubbard, L.F, I.F, M.F, the guy who took Threes Company off the air, Tipper Gore, the guy who invented ring tones, the French, Bill O'riley, Steven Tyler, Cleopatra, Freud, Adolf Hitler, Adam Sandler, John Edwards, Mathew Broderick, Gary Coleman, Ralph Machio, Dave Justice, Zach Morris, the guy that took the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles off the air, Michael Jackson (just to see him shatter into 100 plastic pieces), Tom Cruise, Phil Collins, Tiger Woods (All that skill and he's too cool to sign autographs... Suck my balls), Robert Paulson, Charlemagne, Inspector Gadget, anyone who has modeled for Abercrombie, any crooked cop, Woopie Goldberg, Marco Polo, and Abigail Adams...
And...
OJ Simpson, Dennis Rodman, Ben Affleck (for auditioning to be Daredevil), the chick who had 8 babies, James Carville, Dirty Bird, Joseph Smith, Edmund Burke, Chris Tucker, Rick Astley, Madonna, Gavin Rossdale, an Emo kid, Captain Planet, Corey Feldman, Henry Rollins (That's as stylish as suicide gets), Molly Ringwald, any of the Great Pharaohs, Nostradamus, Josephene Butler, Caligula, Benjamin Disraeli, FDR, that guy that called me a fizzle and ran, John Stamos, Lady Godiva, Arthur Harris, John Steinbeck, Donald Rumsfeld, Nero, and Christopher Columbus...
And
George W. Bush, Alfonso Ribeiro, anyone who is standing 15 yards away from me pretending to cough because I have a cigarette in my hand, Sir Robert Peel, the character Mr. Orange from Resivoir Dogs, President Carter, Axel Rose, Sam Walton, Siegfried, Roy, John Smith, Tiberius, François-Marie Arouet (Voltaire), Don King, Mario from Super Mario Brothers, F. Scott Fitzgerald, M. Night Shyamalan, the King from the Zelda Universe, and Falson...
I can go on and on but I'm going to stop before I get warmed up... If you need me to elaborate on any of the mentioned parties I would be happy to...
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Dirty Bird gets the Worm
The Question: What makes a dirty bird so dirty?
To answer this question we must take a step back and ask ourselves... What is a dirty bird?
A dirty bird is a chick who doesn't change her panties in a timely fashion... The degree of neglect to this necessary recycling of unmentionables is what would fluctuate the dirtiness of the bird... Pantie awareness is a serious issue that I feel doesn't get enough air time... It's a woman's responsibility to make sure that no one in a room can tell that she needs a fresh change... If there is any margin of error AT ALL... she could run the risk of becoming a dirty bird...
The worst is when a woman shows blatant disregard for pantie awareness... There will be a whole room full of people minding their own business drawing personified illustrations of television sets solving mysteries... When all of a sudden they hear "WOOOOOOOOO! I NEED TO CHANGE MY PANTIES...!"(Owned) This is highly unacceptable... It's outrageous... "How could she just call herself out like that?" "Shouldn't she be handling that issue now that we all know it needs to be handled?" Of course these questions have plagued my mind for years and years now... I've still got nothin...When a person shows such disregard for her own pantie awareness... She goes way above and beyond being A Dirty Bird... She becomes...THE Dirty Bird... (And I mean for the "THE" to sound like a "THEE")...
Please change your panties... you know who you are...
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
To answer this question we must take a step back and ask ourselves... What is a dirty bird?
A dirty bird is a chick who doesn't change her panties in a timely fashion... The degree of neglect to this necessary recycling of unmentionables is what would fluctuate the dirtiness of the bird... Pantie awareness is a serious issue that I feel doesn't get enough air time... It's a woman's responsibility to make sure that no one in a room can tell that she needs a fresh change... If there is any margin of error AT ALL... she could run the risk of becoming a dirty bird...
The worst is when a woman shows blatant disregard for pantie awareness... There will be a whole room full of people minding their own business drawing personified illustrations of television sets solving mysteries... When all of a sudden they hear "WOOOOOOOOO! I NEED TO CHANGE MY PANTIES...!"(Owned) This is highly unacceptable... It's outrageous... "How could she just call herself out like that?" "Shouldn't she be handling that issue now that we all know it needs to be handled?" Of course these questions have plagued my mind for years and years now... I've still got nothin...When a person shows such disregard for her own pantie awareness... She goes way above and beyond being A Dirty Bird... She becomes...THE Dirty Bird... (And I mean for the "THE" to sound like a "THEE")...
Please change your panties... you know who you are...
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Did Hitler Ever Ride a Skateboard?
Question: So what was up with Hitler and his skateboard?
According to the rest of the world, the skateboard was invented in the late 1940s by someone in California. No one knows exactly what date or by whom the first skateboard was ever made, but it was assumed that the purpose of its creation was to entertain surfers who were still compelled to surf when there were no waves... Today, the world will know the truth...
The real story takes place in Austria April 20th, 1904... Adolf Hitler's 15th birthday (and yes he already had his tiny mustache)... He was very introverted and didn't get along too well with other children... He always tried to play hopscotch with the neighborhood girls but they wouldn't let him because he was very lame... On the day of his birthday, his mother gave him an ironing board as a gift... Hitler loved to iron soooo much and his little eyes lit up at the sight of it... His father saw how happy he was to have it, called him a little flootsy, and beat him unmercifully... Hitler was used to that sorta thing (being called gay)... Later that night Hitler had a dream... A fairy wearing nutters and knee-high socks came to him and told him that he was destined for much more than playing hopscotch... The fairy and Hitler talked for what seemed to be a lifetime and when Hitler woke up, he was drunk with creativity... He grabbed his ironing board, his mother's roller skates, and father's hand tools, and disappeared into the mountains... He attached the hinges and wheels of the skates to the bottom of the ironing board and made... THE WORLD'S FIRST SKATE BOARD.... Not only did he invent it... He Tore It Up! Hitler was amazing... He could do things on a skateboard that would make Tony Hawk look like Wayne Brady... He didn't need anyone... As long as he was crusin, the world was his oyster... Unfortunately, this joy like all the other joys in his life, was short lived...
Hitler... riding through town one day... clipped a rock with his front wheels that sent him tumbling head over heels into 4 Jews playing a high stakes dradle game... These weren't just your average Jews though... ohhhhh no... these Jews were tough... damn tough... Each one of them stood over seven feet tall and were built like tanks... Their eyes were red and their noses were huge... Hitler's little spill caused two of them to lose a considerable amount of money, and they were in no mood for an explanation... They grabbed Hitler's skateboard and broke it over his head... When he woke up, his memories were fragmented, and he wasn't making much sense... He didn't know what had happened or why he was injured... he just knew... for whatever reason... that he hated Jews with a passion and he wouldn't rest until he purged the Earth of them forever...
Shortly after... he joined the military, was a decorated survivor of WWI, became leader of the Nazi party in 1921, was appointed Chancellor in 1933, turned Germany against the Jews, and the rest is history...
Funny epilogue... One of the Jews that smashed the board over Hitler's head copied the design (using a Jewish ironing board and Jewish roller skates) and gave it to his 8 year old son who lived in Warsaw... When the Nazi's invaded Warsaw in 1944, one of the German soldiers discovered it in building debris and sent it to his son back in Germany... In 1946 the German kid traded it to a traveling merchant for a radio he soon discovered was broken.... In 1948 the traveling merchant traded it to a British kid who soon after took a trip to California to visit his Aunt... On that trip the kid was beaten to death and robbed of all his belongings (right around the year the skateboard was invented)...
The End...
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
According to the rest of the world, the skateboard was invented in the late 1940s by someone in California. No one knows exactly what date or by whom the first skateboard was ever made, but it was assumed that the purpose of its creation was to entertain surfers who were still compelled to surf when there were no waves... Today, the world will know the truth...
The real story takes place in Austria April 20th, 1904... Adolf Hitler's 15th birthday (and yes he already had his tiny mustache)... He was very introverted and didn't get along too well with other children... He always tried to play hopscotch with the neighborhood girls but they wouldn't let him because he was very lame... On the day of his birthday, his mother gave him an ironing board as a gift... Hitler loved to iron soooo much and his little eyes lit up at the sight of it... His father saw how happy he was to have it, called him a little flootsy, and beat him unmercifully... Hitler was used to that sorta thing (being called gay)... Later that night Hitler had a dream... A fairy wearing nutters and knee-high socks came to him and told him that he was destined for much more than playing hopscotch... The fairy and Hitler talked for what seemed to be a lifetime and when Hitler woke up, he was drunk with creativity... He grabbed his ironing board, his mother's roller skates, and father's hand tools, and disappeared into the mountains... He attached the hinges and wheels of the skates to the bottom of the ironing board and made... THE WORLD'S FIRST SKATE BOARD.... Not only did he invent it... He Tore It Up! Hitler was amazing... He could do things on a skateboard that would make Tony Hawk look like Wayne Brady... He didn't need anyone... As long as he was crusin, the world was his oyster... Unfortunately, this joy like all the other joys in his life, was short lived...
Hitler... riding through town one day... clipped a rock with his front wheels that sent him tumbling head over heels into 4 Jews playing a high stakes dradle game... These weren't just your average Jews though... ohhhhh no... these Jews were tough... damn tough... Each one of them stood over seven feet tall and were built like tanks... Their eyes were red and their noses were huge... Hitler's little spill caused two of them to lose a considerable amount of money, and they were in no mood for an explanation... They grabbed Hitler's skateboard and broke it over his head... When he woke up, his memories were fragmented, and he wasn't making much sense... He didn't know what had happened or why he was injured... he just knew... for whatever reason... that he hated Jews with a passion and he wouldn't rest until he purged the Earth of them forever...
Shortly after... he joined the military, was a decorated survivor of WWI, became leader of the Nazi party in 1921, was appointed Chancellor in 1933, turned Germany against the Jews, and the rest is history...
Funny epilogue... One of the Jews that smashed the board over Hitler's head copied the design (using a Jewish ironing board and Jewish roller skates) and gave it to his 8 year old son who lived in Warsaw... When the Nazi's invaded Warsaw in 1944, one of the German soldiers discovered it in building debris and sent it to his son back in Germany... In 1946 the German kid traded it to a traveling merchant for a radio he soon discovered was broken.... In 1948 the traveling merchant traded it to a British kid who soon after took a trip to California to visit his Aunt... On that trip the kid was beaten to death and robbed of all his belongings (right around the year the skateboard was invented)...
The End...
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
Should an Indoor Pool Party be Thrown?
The Question: Let's say I wanted to throw a pool party on the 3rd floor of an apartment and I live in an apartment complex owned by UCF which is the school I am attempting to earn a degree from. Would you say this is a good idea?
I would say that beyond a shadow of a doubt that idea is one of the best I have ever heard (Apart from giving Dolly Parton the old motorboat in the 80's)... See, college is about wayyyy more than getting a degree... I would go a far as to say that getting the degree is the easy part of going to school... Going to college is about pushing the envelope so far that when it's time to bring the hammer down, you have gone to such great lengths of blatant disregard that no one is able to believe the things you did actually happened... After you graduate and plunge into the real world, your life is over... It all comes tumbling down like a house of cards... You may get a well paying job, a loving wife and kids, a two story home, and a nice lawn with a white picket fence... But all of those things suck... (Unless you have an emo lawn that cuts itself)... We don't really want those things... We just don't want to be homeless falling asleep with our hand on ourselves... Granted, you can scrape by with a bare minimum life style, bar hopping, smoking, and tagging whichever chicks are dumb enough to sleep with someone like you... However in twenty years, if you don't have enough money or grown up kids to pay your medical bills, congratulations, you are now homeless falling asleep with your hand on yourself... There are only two ways to beat this inevitable slavery... Either
A. You travel country to country washing dishes and seeing the world until you have run out of countries... then you pick a fight with Henry Rollins right before you get sick and let him finish the job...
B. You throw an indoor pool party on the third floor of a college building at the University you are attending (I'll tell you why shortly)
C. You get lucky and either win the lotto... or have one of those rare marriages that is actually unlike a hurricane (Starts out wet and wild and in short time you lose your house and your car)
D. Just pick a fight with Henry Rollins now and save yourself some time...
See... Everyone in college goes to parties and bars... however... two years down the road... how many of those parties do you actually remember? How many of those hundreds of people you slept with are still in your memory banks? (Probably only the ones that gave you STDs)... Now when you throw an indoor pool party... Not ONLY will you remember it for the rest of your life... but so will EVERY SINGLE PERSON AT THE PARTY... Memories like that will ride your coat tails like a warm blanket and when the world starts showing you how much everything sucks... you will have the enlightenment of knowing that you are a master of your own destiny... If you lose your job... it's no big deal... you threw an indoor pool party... trust me, you WILL find another job... Who knows... you may never need to go looking for Henry Rollins at all... He may find you... but can you blame him?
As long as you really think out how you are going to throw the party... get some building blueprints, dissect your lease thoroughly, get an appropriate sized pool, engineer an adapter to hook a hose up to your sink (many college buildings pay your water utility for you), facilitate squirt guns and water balloons, get two drums of bubble bath, two or three kegs, and keep the liquor flowing... you are good to go... As for damages... that's what scholarships are for...
Don't fail at life... throw an indoor pool party...
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
I would say that beyond a shadow of a doubt that idea is one of the best I have ever heard (Apart from giving Dolly Parton the old motorboat in the 80's)... See, college is about wayyyy more than getting a degree... I would go a far as to say that getting the degree is the easy part of going to school... Going to college is about pushing the envelope so far that when it's time to bring the hammer down, you have gone to such great lengths of blatant disregard that no one is able to believe the things you did actually happened... After you graduate and plunge into the real world, your life is over... It all comes tumbling down like a house of cards... You may get a well paying job, a loving wife and kids, a two story home, and a nice lawn with a white picket fence... But all of those things suck... (Unless you have an emo lawn that cuts itself)... We don't really want those things... We just don't want to be homeless falling asleep with our hand on ourselves... Granted, you can scrape by with a bare minimum life style, bar hopping, smoking, and tagging whichever chicks are dumb enough to sleep with someone like you... However in twenty years, if you don't have enough money or grown up kids to pay your medical bills, congratulations, you are now homeless falling asleep with your hand on yourself... There are only two ways to beat this inevitable slavery... Either
A. You travel country to country washing dishes and seeing the world until you have run out of countries... then you pick a fight with Henry Rollins right before you get sick and let him finish the job...
B. You throw an indoor pool party on the third floor of a college building at the University you are attending (I'll tell you why shortly)
C. You get lucky and either win the lotto... or have one of those rare marriages that is actually unlike a hurricane (Starts out wet and wild and in short time you lose your house and your car)
D. Just pick a fight with Henry Rollins now and save yourself some time...
See... Everyone in college goes to parties and bars... however... two years down the road... how many of those parties do you actually remember? How many of those hundreds of people you slept with are still in your memory banks? (Probably only the ones that gave you STDs)... Now when you throw an indoor pool party... Not ONLY will you remember it for the rest of your life... but so will EVERY SINGLE PERSON AT THE PARTY... Memories like that will ride your coat tails like a warm blanket and when the world starts showing you how much everything sucks... you will have the enlightenment of knowing that you are a master of your own destiny... If you lose your job... it's no big deal... you threw an indoor pool party... trust me, you WILL find another job... Who knows... you may never need to go looking for Henry Rollins at all... He may find you... but can you blame him?
As long as you really think out how you are going to throw the party... get some building blueprints, dissect your lease thoroughly, get an appropriate sized pool, engineer an adapter to hook a hose up to your sink (many college buildings pay your water utility for you), facilitate squirt guns and water balloons, get two drums of bubble bath, two or three kegs, and keep the liquor flowing... you are good to go... As for damages... that's what scholarships are for...
Don't fail at life... throw an indoor pool party...
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
Which Lisa is Hotter?
The Question: Who's hotter Lisa from Weird Science the movie or Lisa from the TV show?
I read your question about wondering which Lisa was hotter and had nooooo idea because I had never seen weird science the movie, nor the TV show... Rather than leavin ya hangin... I decided to do some research...
Weird Science the movie introduced in 1985 casted Kelly LeBrock to be Lisa...
Weird Science the TV show introduced in 1994 casted Vanessa Angel as Lisa...
Kelly LeBrock was born in 1960... Vanessa Angel in 1966... However even though these women are only 6 years apart (although once women turn 40 they start to age in dog years) Vanessa looks 15 years (minimum) younger than Kelly, AND maintained her figure... Its very impressive comparing the way Vanessa looks in 1985 (Spies Like Us), 1996 (King Pin) and modern day, only to discover a very miniscule change in her appearance... She aged very well... Now Kelly LeBrock on the other hand... Dig up a current picture of her from "The Mirror" and then bury it where you found it (I mean... I guess she is kinda hot... for a senior citizen)... So if you want to be cliche and fancy women who are youthful and havn't fallen apart yet... I would say Vanessa Angel is your best bet...
Let's just say for the sake of time that we are centralizing this argument around which girl was hotter in their prime... That will souly depend on which characteristics people look for in an object of lust... As for me personally, Kelly LeBrock in the 80's kinda reminds me of Michael Jackson in the 80's... Vanessa though, just looking at her leads me to believe she smells good... I dunno... the way I see it... No matter what either of them look like, they are both way better looking than Molly Ringwald... She is the reincarnation of Pablo Picasso's nude-posing model...
Anyways...Lisa from the Weird Science the TV series is hotter... Blaaaamo!
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
I read your question about wondering which Lisa was hotter and had nooooo idea because I had never seen weird science the movie, nor the TV show... Rather than leavin ya hangin... I decided to do some research...
Weird Science the movie introduced in 1985 casted Kelly LeBrock to be Lisa...
Weird Science the TV show introduced in 1994 casted Vanessa Angel as Lisa...
Kelly LeBrock was born in 1960... Vanessa Angel in 1966... However even though these women are only 6 years apart (although once women turn 40 they start to age in dog years) Vanessa looks 15 years (minimum) younger than Kelly, AND maintained her figure... Its very impressive comparing the way Vanessa looks in 1985 (Spies Like Us), 1996 (King Pin) and modern day, only to discover a very miniscule change in her appearance... She aged very well... Now Kelly LeBrock on the other hand... Dig up a current picture of her from "The Mirror" and then bury it where you found it (I mean... I guess she is kinda hot... for a senior citizen)... So if you want to be cliche and fancy women who are youthful and havn't fallen apart yet... I would say Vanessa Angel is your best bet...
Let's just say for the sake of time that we are centralizing this argument around which girl was hotter in their prime... That will souly depend on which characteristics people look for in an object of lust... As for me personally, Kelly LeBrock in the 80's kinda reminds me of Michael Jackson in the 80's... Vanessa though, just looking at her leads me to believe she smells good... I dunno... the way I see it... No matter what either of them look like, they are both way better looking than Molly Ringwald... She is the reincarnation of Pablo Picasso's nude-posing model...
Anyways...Lisa from the Weird Science the TV series is hotter... Blaaaamo!
~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief
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