Should an Indoor Pool Party be Thrown?

The Question: Let's say I wanted to throw a pool party on the 3rd floor of an apartment and I live in an apartment complex owned by UCF which is the school I am attempting to earn a degree from. Would you say this is a good idea?

I would say that beyond a shadow of a doubt that idea is one of the best I have ever heard (Apart from giving Dolly Parton the old motorboat in the 80's)... See, college is about wayyyy more than getting a degree... I would go a far as to say that getting the degree is the easy part of going to school... Going to college is about pushing the envelope so far that when it's time to bring the hammer down, you have gone to such great lengths of blatant disregard that no one is able to believe the things you did actually happened... After you graduate and plunge into the real world, your life is over... It all comes tumbling down like a house of cards... You may get a well paying job, a loving wife and kids, a two story home, and a nice lawn with a white picket fence... But all of those things suck... (Unless you have an emo lawn that cuts itself)... We don't really want those things... We just don't want to be homeless falling asleep with our hand on ourselves... Granted, you can scrape by with a bare minimum life style, bar hopping, smoking, and tagging whichever chicks are dumb enough to sleep with someone like you... However in twenty years, if you don't have enough money or grown up kids to pay your medical bills, congratulations, you are now homeless falling asleep with your hand on yourself... There are only two ways to beat this inevitable slavery... Either

A. You travel country to country washing dishes and seeing the world until you have run out of countries... then you pick a fight with Henry Rollins right before you get sick and let him finish the job...
B. You throw an indoor pool party on the third floor of a college building at the University you are attending (I'll tell you why shortly)
C. You get lucky and either win the lotto... or have one of those rare marriages that is actually unlike a hurricane (Starts out wet and wild and in short time you lose your house and your car)
D. Just pick a fight with Henry Rollins now and save yourself some time...

See... Everyone in college goes to parties and bars... however... two years down the road... how many of those parties do you actually remember? How many of those hundreds of people you slept with are still in your memory banks? (Probably only the ones that gave you STDs)... Now when you throw an indoor pool party... Not ONLY will you remember it for the rest of your life... but so will EVERY SINGLE PERSON AT THE PARTY... Memories like that will ride your coat tails like a warm blanket and when the world starts showing you how much everything sucks... you will have the enlightenment of knowing that you are a master of your own destiny... If you lose your job... it's no big deal... you threw an indoor pool party... trust me, you WILL find another job... Who knows... you may never need to go looking for Henry Rollins at all... He may find you... but can you blame him?
As long as you really think out how you are going to throw the party... get some building blueprints, dissect your lease thoroughly, get an appropriate sized pool, engineer an adapter to hook a hose up to your sink (many college buildings pay your water utility for you), facilitate squirt guns and water balloons, get two drums of bubble bath, two or three kegs, and keep the liquor flowing... you are good to go... As for damages... that's what scholarships are for...

Don't fail at life... throw an indoor pool party...

~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief