Tucked In Shirts Are Awful

Topic: I find that I hate tucking in my shirt but I do like putting my hands down my pants... Please discuss your opinion on this...

Often in life, the most obvious answers are the correct ones... In this case, I would like to just quickly say that shit loads of people who like playing with themselves hate tucking their shirts in... Typically when you tuck your shirt in, its because you have to (Much unlike the ladder). I say "typically" because in this day and age you have all kinds of snappy dressers and professionals who like to see themselves lookin good. Some dudes take 45 minutes to get all dolled up just to roll down to the grocery store... To a lot of people, looking good is much more important to being comfortable (and being yourself)... You are obviously not that type... Personally, I think snappy dressers and professionals are kinda gay...
It pisses me off even more knowing what a web of lies the professional world really is... You take off the formal wear and what do you have...? Well it could be a lot of things, but it's most likely a son of a bitch or a smelly skunk of a woman... Everyone knows that most hookers get killed by people in business attire... Don't think it's the crack heads killing all those whores ladies and gentlemen, its not... Prostitutes know crack heads are broke and never have the money up front... Now businessmen, thats a different story... Prostitutes of the future will have surgeries to insert a credit card swiper between their boobs or ass cheeks just because the volume of their business comes from guys in suits who are in town on a business trip and don't feel like watching Skinamax alone... I mean everyone's heard the joke about the politician that killed a stripper with a chair and then asked her "Hey...why the long face...?" I mean nuns tell that joke as they giggle to each other on their way to the soda machine...
To the point at hand... the funny thing about you people acting professional is that you're "acting" professional... We're all a buncha fuckers... Some of us just have better jobs than others... What's great though is that for the most part, I am not sure if anyone likes wearing formal wear, but since it is a paradigm we have no choice... Do we know why we no choice? No, no we don't... I know all of my bosses would much rather be comfortable in a T shirt and shorts... In fact, I think a lot of us would work much more efficiently in clothes we could breath in... Not to mention those employees that are just total all-stars who go way above and beyond and then are sat down to discuss their appearance... "I do everything around here and you want me to tuck my shirt in??? 40 pieces of flair!?!?!?!? Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam... sometimes I could kick this piece of shit out the window...!!" See what happens... Anyways...
How does this happen? How do we all fall into this web of complete illusion? A common example of how to form a paradigm is as follows...
A research team took 4 monkeys and put them in a room with a ladder and banana's at the top of the ladder... Every time a monkey went for the bananas, the other 3 monkeys were sprayed with a hose... After a short while, no monkey would climb the ladder to get the bananas because the other 3 would beat him up for getting them sprayed... They then took one of the monkeys out of the cage and replaced it with a fresh monkey... That monkey climbed the ladder to get the seemingly pleasant bananas and unexpectedly got the shit kicked out of him... He didn't try again... They then replaced a second monkey who also tried to go for the bananas... low and behold he got owned and didn't know why... The third monkey was replaced, same scenario... and then the fourth... same scenario... None of the four monkeys ever went for the banana's again... The beautiful thing is... Because neither of the 4 monkeys were the original 4 monkeys, not one of them ever got sprayed with a fire hose, yet regardless, those bananas were still off limits... If you asked the monkeys why they were not allowed to get those bananas, they would respond "We're not really sure... its just the way its always been..."
So yes, I am comparing the unknown reasons for why everyone is forced to dress professionally to a buncha monkeys who have no idea why they aren't allowed to eat bananas... Oh, and as for your confusion of liking to put your hand down your pants... You're American dude... its practically all we are good at... So no worries... you aren't alone out there... In fact I'll bet you're in good company...

~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief