The Wizard of Oz is Gay

The Question: Do you like the Wizard of Oz? Why or why not?

There are many different levels of appreciation someone can have for a movie... Without getting into all that nonsense though... I can boldly say the title of this blog very accurately reflects my opinion of it... On the spectrum of movies I would say it falls somewhere in between Home Alone 3 and the porno version of Mr. Hollands Opus... "But why Pu Daxta!? I love that movie!!!" Are you a chick? Ok then... I mean I don't know why chicks like chick stuff... That's a blog for another time, and even I have my doubts about trying to tackle a subject that has made over 10 billion males throughout history all become impotent over night... Granted, that way beats the vasectomy home-kit option... But there are just some old ladies that simply aren't worth robbing... Alas I digress...


What is exactly wrong with the Wizard of OZ? Well for starters, I just might gently question the idioms of the characters involved... Like, did Dorothy REALLY have to look soooo puzzled in every scene of the movie even before she got to OZ? I have never seen anyone look so confused while doing nothing but riding a damn bike... Her damn dog acted better than she did... But ok, some main characters are allowed to be complete morons... whatever... I will lets that slide... So then I take a look at the other characters... Lets see what we have here: a Gay Scarecrow, a Gay Tin Man, a Gay Lion, a dog who is still stealing the stage, every midget that was alive and on the planet at the time, an old manipulative conman who was able to force an entire world of midgets to build an emerald empire with a road of gold bricks that go from his new empire to their midget town (Let's face it guys, this "wizard" has already bested and outdone all and every of the cruelest pharaohs and dictators on a MONUMENTAL level (pun intended)...) How many midgets do you think died building that city and road... All that shit is fucking heavy... How many were maimed or burned smelting the materials? How many Godless generations did it take for that city to be built? All so a conman can have the most bad ass hiding spot ever... I wonder what came first, Wizard of Oz or Scientology...


Anyways We have a wizard with no real power other than obvious philosophical opinions locked away in this city of idolatry, and either the good fairy was too retarded to see through his veneer, orrrrrrr they have been in league with each other the whole time. If she wasn't in on it, she would have never let all of those munchkins kill themselves to build the emerald city... Not to mention, for the amount of resources in the hands of those who seem to have considerably less power than the bad guys, how have they been able to hold on to everything... Hmmmm... maybe because, everyone knew to keep a glass water around? That's how to kill a witch who occupies half of the territories... THAT'S ALL YOU GOT!?... I mean, she must've been thirsty as fuck... And why the hell didn't they show a battle between the flying monkeys and the munchkins... I will tell you why... Because they wanted to spend 30 minutes focusing on a buncha gay retards falling asleep in a field... And quite frankly the concept of a purple horse confuses and infuriates me...


Oh yea and seriously, writers, was it really fucking necessary to make all of the good guys freakin midgets except for the fairy (Who I am arguing was the main villain)... Couldn't they have just been normal sized people for God sakes... I mean a midget or two never hurts anything, but cmon guys... Cut your fucking casting agent some slack... How do you even keep a straight face when asking a midget if he wants to play a lead midget role for this movie someone wrote while they were smoking crack... "Ok Rupert... you are 3'6" perfect... one more inch and you wouldn't have made the cut, now here, wear this santa elf costume, take this hilariously large lollipop and bob and weave back n forth a couple times singing about how this lollipop represents EVERYTHING that you are!" There is no fucking way I could ask someone to do that in one try without laughing in their face... You almost have to end the sentence with "Do it or I'll kill your whole fucking family" or something like that just so you go out on a serious note...


Ultimately I feel like the writers never tied the right things together... They had it in their laps... an elaborate plot to get a human to our land, find a considerable force, and destroy the only person in the territory who has a shot at overthrowing the wizard and the fairy... IMO all parties in charge are horrible people and all the protagonists are gay... I can't get into a movie that has such unappealing characters... Oh, also Dorothy's family was gay...
The End

~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief