Did Hitler Ever Ride a Skateboard?

Question: So what was up with Hitler and his skateboard?

According to the rest of the world, the skateboard was invented in the late 1940s by someone in California. No one knows exactly what date or by whom the first skateboard was ever made, but it was assumed that the purpose of its creation was to entertain surfers who were still compelled to surf when there were no waves... Today, the world will know the truth...
The real story takes place in Austria April 20th, 1904... Adolf Hitler's 15th birthday (and yes he already had his tiny mustache)... He was very introverted and didn't get along too well with other children... He always tried to play hopscotch with the neighborhood girls but they wouldn't let him because he was very lame... On the day of his birthday, his mother gave him an ironing board as a gift... Hitler loved to iron soooo much and his little eyes lit up at the sight of it... His father saw how happy he was to have it, called him a little flootsy, and beat him unmercifully... Hitler was used to that sorta thing (being called gay)... Later that night Hitler had a dream... A fairy wearing nutters and knee-high socks came to him and told him that he was destined for much more than playing hopscotch... The fairy and Hitler talked for what seemed to be a lifetime and when Hitler woke up, he was drunk with creativity... He grabbed his ironing board, his mother's roller skates, and father's hand tools, and disappeared into the mountains... He attached the hinges and wheels of the skates to the bottom of the ironing board and made... THE WORLD'S FIRST SKATE BOARD.... Not only did he invent it... He Tore It Up! Hitler was amazing... He could do things on a skateboard that would make Tony Hawk look like Wayne Brady... He didn't need anyone... As long as he was crusin, the world was his oyster... Unfortunately, this joy like all the other joys in his life, was short lived...
Hitler... riding through town one day... clipped a rock with his front wheels that sent him tumbling head over heels into 4 Jews playing a high stakes dradle game... These weren't just your average Jews though... ohhhhh no... these Jews were tough... damn tough... Each one of them stood over seven feet tall and were built like tanks... Their eyes were red and their noses were huge... Hitler's little spill caused two of them to lose a considerable amount of money, and they were in no mood for an explanation... They grabbed Hitler's skateboard and broke it over his head... When he woke up, his memories were fragmented, and he wasn't making much sense... He didn't know what had happened or why he was injured... he just knew... for whatever reason... that he hated Jews with a passion and he wouldn't rest until he purged the Earth of them forever...
Shortly after... he joined the military, was a decorated survivor of WWI, became leader of the Nazi party in 1921, was appointed Chancellor in 1933, turned Germany against the Jews, and the rest is history...
Funny epilogue... One of the Jews that smashed the board over Hitler's head copied the design (using a Jewish ironing board and Jewish roller skates) and gave it to his 8 year old son who lived in Warsaw... When the Nazi's invaded Warsaw in 1944, one of the German soldiers discovered it in building debris and sent it to his son back in Germany... In 1946 the German kid traded it to a traveling merchant for a radio he soon discovered was broken.... In 1948 the traveling merchant traded it to a British kid who soon after took a trip to California to visit his Aunt... On that trip the kid was beaten to death and robbed of all his belongings (right around the year the skateboard was invented)...
The End...

~Keepa Pu Daxta
Laundry Thief